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“Masturbate!” she commanded, “Masturbate your cock for me!”“Yes, Mamma.”“That’s right, baby,” she cooed, “Make it feel so good, just like when we were together. I’m playing with my pussy.”“I’m jerking.” I groaned as I humped up into my fist and squeezed my cock.“Let’s just listen to each other.” She said. I could hear her slishy sounds get louder as she returned the phone to the space on the bed between her thighs, right up by her naked crotch. It got me so hard.Soon I was groaning and gooning loudly into my phone, hoping she could faintly hear my sweet struggle with my penis -- my sounds coming up from the phone between her legs.Then she returned the phone to the pillow next to her head as she listened to me fucking my hand.“That’s it, darling! Masturbate for Mommy! Jerk it hard! Remember how I stroked you!”“Ohhh, Mom,” I cried out. “Ohhh … Mommy I’m masturbating so good for you!”“Yes, honey, yes,” she said, “Masturbate …. MASTURBATE! Masturbate for me!”“uhh uhhhh!”I groaned and. “Doesn’t that bother you?”“Naaaaaaaaaaaah!”How can you tell if a West Virginia girl is a virgin?If she can run faster that her brothers.Everybody from the North thinks everybody from the South is just sitting around, barefoot, wearing overalls, eating grits, watching ‘Hee Haw,’ listening to country music, drinking Jack Daniel’s, going to tractor pulls, wearing trucker caps, dipping Skoal, picking cotton, riding around in pickup trucks, having sex with our relatives, and looking for UFOs. And that’s not true -- it’s not -- I’ve never seen a UFO, and second cousins don’t count.A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, “Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?”The husband looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like -- Mr. Plumber?”A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. “Honey, the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?”“What do I look like -- Mr. Goodwrench?”A.
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